Topps Dinosaurs Attack Card 26 Coasting to Calamity

Discount Godzilla here is supposed to be the 26 to 30 foot Gorgosaurus terrorizing Coney Island. I would have thought the NYC folk would have been a little tougher than this but maybe the artist never went to NYC.

Topps Dinosaurs Attack Card 25 Day of the Duckbill

Guns and beer? Bad combination to start with. These two were going to get mashed dinosaur or no. Well, dips with guns getting dead is a good thing.

 

Topps Dinosaurs Attack Card 24 London in Flames

This happening in London is far more believable than it happening anywhere in America. If it happened in Texas the Dinos wold be hunted down but fat men that smell like oil and BBQ.

Topps Dinosaurs Attack Card 23 The Perfect Wave

Once again we have a fun card. This card gives off the spirit of joy that really holds the pack together. Back in the 80's a kid could see R rated movies but now days it's a new world. This card isn't nasty, but it is fun.

Topps Dinosaurs Attack Card 22 The Behemoth Fries

Well, this oversized Iguanadon is doing his best Godzilla impression. This card wouldn't get you in trouble with your mom back in the day. This is a top notch card.

Topps Dinosaurs Attack Card 21 fast Food Frenzy

Here we have a thinly veiled dig on the golden arches which is an American staple. Well, I've wanted to see a few of these crushed every now and then and so this is a fun card. Thumbs up. 

 

Topps Dinosaurs Attack Card 20 Bashing the BMT

Godzilla called and he wants his cheese back. Now this is a card.

 

Topps Dinosaurs Attack Card 19 Madness in the Streets

The cards do not name this big slimy dong monster but the card is fun. What are you dong monster?

 

Topps Dinosaurs Attack Card 18 Tourist Trap

In the world of giant critters messing with mountains this is a really silly card. The monsters are too large and you can't pluck the eyes out of Mt. Rushmore like that. I guess you could say this is made for laughs.

 

Topps Dinosaurs Attack Card 17 Blue Water, Savage Death

This card was heavily influenced by the 1961 film Gorgo which was a discount Godzilla of the time. It's not bad but not very original.

 

Topps Dinosaurs Attack Card 16 Heartland Horror

An Ankylosaurus is nothing to sneeze at the thing would be so big and heavy that it could stop you without noticing. It would never have killed a horse because it was a plant eater. 

This is dumb and improbable. Further it fails to advance the narrative in anyway. Not that great of a card.

Topps Dinosaurs Attack Card 15 The Colonel ... Shredded!

Well, this dude is getting shredded as someone watches after doing acid. Crazy image but why do those dinosaurs have massive heads?

Topps Dinosaurs Attack Card 14 Lunch Beak!

The Parasaurolophus was a herbivore. They wouldn't eat children. They would also not have been even close to that large. To be clear, I think dinosaur cards may have drawn in kids to start with but these are made to draw in kids who need therapy.
 

Topps Dinosaurs Attack Card 13 Rock Concert Carnage

Here in card 13 we have a comment on the hair metal bands of the 80's. The zombies watching the concert are a nice touch. Honestly, this is a fun car.

Topps Dinosaurs Attack Card 12 Panic in the Stadium

We have fallen into random carnage to make new cards. I know this is supposed to be funny but how did the dinos even get in without the players running for shelter?
 

Topps Dinosaurs Attack Card 11 Trapped in the Basement!

So, this card feels like a cop out with little information and even less thought. The idea that animals could burrow through a concrete wall to get to people and yet there would still be limited air is off. 

This card is a drop in quality over the others, but at least we have no dead dogs. 

 

Topps Dinosaurs Attack Card 10 Italy Under Seige!

Topps Dinosaurs Attack Card 10 Italy Under Seige! Looks like they misspelled siege. Now look how vascular the green one is that his humping the leaning tower. This is a fun card. Crazy but fun. 

 

Topps Dinosaurs Attack Card 9 Nuptial Nightmare

 Nuptial Nightmare shows a herbivorous dinosaur attacking a wedding. This mutant dino has horns like a bull as is drooling like a dog after it smells Taco Bell. So confused.

 

Topps Dinosaurs Attack Card 8 Crushing a Canine

I'm confident that card 8 of the Dinosaurs Attack set by Topps is my least favorite card. There is nothing funny about animal abuse. 

 
 

Topps Dinosaurs Attack Card 7 D.C. Holocaust

D.C. Holocaust is one card I don't like. For one thing, Holocaust is an over used word and for another the image from card 8 on the back is disturbing. Add in the distorted proportions to the art work and the fact that there would be more forces guarding D.C. and you wind up with a rather thin set up.

 
 

Topps Dinosaurs Attack Card 6 Police Precinct Assaulted!

 "Police Precinct Assaulted!" features to Stegosauri taking down a few cops. How they got in the room I couldn't say but these big boys look normal by comparison to other dinos on these cards. This is so 80's vintage but a lot of fun.

 

Topps Dinosaurs Attack Card 5 Homeroom Horror

 "Homeroom Horror" features a purple dinosaur which was a thing back in the day. It is supposed to be an allosaurus. Again the animal is oversize and silly but what do you want? These cards were marketed to kids.

Topps Dinosaurs Attack Card 4 The Past Comes Alive

'The Past Comes Alive' claims to feature an Ultrasaurus, but it is clearly not so as this animals is far to large and has grasping hands. It's a titanized dino if I ever saw one. I would also need to look up this bridge to see if it even is made of concrete. 

Cool as it may be that is just not a dinosaur.

 

Topps Dinosaurs Attack Card 3 Time Scanner Disaster!

'Time Scanner Disaster!' is a cool card but expressed no gore or carnage. The old time sci fi feel is well noted here. This is the kind of thing I love.  

Topps Dinosaurs Attack Card 2 Experiment in Space

This has the classic 70's look that one has come to expect from pop culture. It also involves time travel and other elements that make it so 80's and made for the kids of the time to love. Great card.